«Меня всё бесит!» — Everything Annoys Me!

Open aggression can be cruel, making people and society harsher. But when aggression is taboo, suppressed anger can emerge as psychological and physical problems. We can neither let anger run free nor suppress it completely. The usual advice is to breathe deeply, count to thirty and think positively. These are reasonable suggestions, but rather like saying five always equals five. Anger is more than physiology: it arises between people, not simply inside us, and breathing alone cannot resolve it.

That is why I wrote a series of practical instructions based on specific cases, rather than a collection of tips. How to notice anger before it builds into an explosion. How to express it to the right person instead of taking it out on whoever happens to be nearby. What to say when someone shouts, pressures you or makes a hurtful joke, including phrases you can use. How to stop being angry with yourself. And how to distinguish justified anger from envy and revenge masquerading as it.

• Over twenty numbered case discussions: seven ways to reduce irritation, six responses to pressure in arguments, and five reasons why a particular person annoys you
• Ready-to-use phrases for a shouting boss, a loved one's cutting remarks or someone pressuring you in an argument
• Over fifty first-person accounts from real people, with their names
• Six chapters: learning about anger, distinguishing it from fear and shame, stopping self-directed anger and responding to aggression