«Привязанность и сепарация» — Attachment and Separation

Childhood attachment wounds affect romantic, friendship and professional relationships. They influence self-esteem, resilience, boundaries and choices of partner, career and financial strategy. The effects extend further: insecure attachment can make it difficult to leave an unfulfilling job or a country where you are unhappy. Working through many of life's impasses starts here.

I wrote this book following sessions with clients who struggled in their relationships with parents. It is structured as a guide: how attachment works and why it breaks down; nine recognisable childhood scenarios, each ending with a list of consequences in adulthood; and what you can do today. How to choose and maintain an appropriate distance without conflict. How to talk to a difficult parent without being overwhelmed. And why you need not try to forgive everything: forgiveness cannot be commanded; hurt first needs to be acknowledged and lived through.

• Four attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganised, and how to identify yours
• Nine “If you were…” chapters exploring neglect, unreliable parenting, achievement-based love and overprotection, with their consequences in adulthood
• A practical third part: choosing an appropriate distance, staying calm in conversations and avoiding repeating your parents' patterns with your own children
• A separate chapter on why you do not have to try to forgive everything